aidez-haiti
Darth Vader
Information
Current city :
Some hellhole with loads of sand
Political point of view :
Conservative

Darth Vader

scored 2 goals in his street hockey game22 hours ago
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker Are you coming to dinner this weekend?? I have some roast beef and Fuzion wine left.

Yesterday at 13:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
I'll think about it, I'll get back to you about this on Monday.
Yesterday at 21:48
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker Sorry about your star dad.

22 January, 4 ABY at 19:04 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
No problem, I'm one of the good guys now.
January 22, 4 ABY at 19:21
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Well, let's not forget that you killed millions of innocent people, including women and children. Hell, you remember the young Jedis?
January 22, 4 ABY at 19:41
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Yeah. Yeah. OK. But enough about me, let's talk about you. What are you gonna do now that the Empire is destroyed and that you basically have no reason to live? You know, no girlfriend, no job, etc.
January 22, 4 ABY at 19:57
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
YOU NEVER SUPPORTED ME
January 22, 4 ABY at 21:21
Chan Xiao

Chan Xiao Mister Vader, your cape is ready. Thank you for using EZ-Clean intergalactical Dry cleaning services.

January 21, 4 ABY at 10:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
I'll pick it up at noon.
January 21, 4 ABY at 10:21
Recent activity
Darth Vader likes Avatar. · ·
Darth Vader is not friends with The Emperor anymore. · ·
The Emperor

The Emperor I just read a little in the future. You don't intend to throw me down an endless hole, are you?

January 19, 4 ABY at 18:20 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Not that I know of.
January 19, 4 ABY at 18:21
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker I talked to Yoda again and he told me that it's not true, you're not my real father. He also told me you wanted to be a pilot but couldn't because you're short-sighted.

January 18, 4 ABY at 16:07 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
You're lying, Luke. You know damn well I am your father.
January 18, 4 ABY at 16:49
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Well what am I gonna do then? I have to kill you. I can't kill my own father!
January 18, 4 ABY at 16:59
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Won't happen. You suck with a lightsaber.
January 18, 4 ABY at 18:21
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
YOU NEVER SUPPORTED ME
January 18, 4 ABY at 18:27
Darth Vader

Darth Vader

On this picture :Luke Skywalker
Hahaha you're so fugly, son
April 6, 3 ABY at 19:48 · See album
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker They told me at the hospital that they could have reattach my hand if I had put it on ice. Thanks for nothing you old fart!

April 6, 3 ABY at 12:03 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
We don't keep ice. And don't talk to me that way, I'm your father.
April 6, 3 ABY at 12:06
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
My father? You're my father? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
April 6, 3 ABY at 12:09
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Hahaha, just like me after your ma died. NOOOOOOOOO!!! hahaha
April 6, 3 ABY at 12:21
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Yoda, is this true? Vader is my father?
April 6, 3 ABY at 12:43
Yoda
Yoda
Hum yes, to tell you, I might have forgotten. Oh and your sister, Leia is. And uncle Lars, gay was, very possibly.
April 6, 3 ABY at 12:47
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Leia is my sister? LOL I jacked off thinking of her this morning.
April 6, 3 ABY at 13:01
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
OK now thats too much information.
April 6, 3 ABY at 13:31
Trooper JJ-101

Trooper JJ-101 We have Solo. Where do we put him?

April 4, 3 ABY at 9:44 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Put him in the basement freezer.
April 4, 3 ABY at 10:04
Darth Vader

Darth Vader Hey! Yoda, my old friend! Long time no see! Have you seen Luke?

April 2, 3 ABY at 11:01 · ·
Yoda
Yoda
Seen him I have not, and if seen I would him... not seen.. I... shit I fucked up.
April 2, 3 ABY at 11:21
Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader
You know there are schools for this.
April 2, 3 ABY at 11:42
Yoda
Yoda
The fuck up, shut
April 2, 3 ABY at 12:03
Boba Fett

Boba Fett I have a bill for you... I am leaving for the Easter holiday, so if I could get paid before the 23rd I'd be pretty happy.

March 18, 3 ABY at 18:19 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Fax it to Gina at human resources.
March 18, 3 ABY at 18:21
Trooper JJ-101

Trooper JJ-101 Mister Vader? We located Luke. He's on Hoth with his bunch of dirty hippies.

January 18, 3 ABY at 18:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Hoth? what a hellhole. Can you send the large metal dogs we had built for us last summer?
January 18, 3 ABY at 18:29
Trooper JJ-101
Trooper JJ-101
Large metal dogs? You mean the AT-AT? The Imperial AT-AT Walkers?
January 18, 3 ABY at 18:31
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Pffft look at you with your fancy names. I say METAL DOGS.
January 18, 3 ABY at 18:39
Trooper JJ-101
Trooper JJ-101
Of course I can send them but it takes two days just to fill them up.
January 18, 3 ABY at 18:49
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
OK. You go to Ultramar, I have mystery discount coupons, they're in the glove compartment.
January 18, 3 ABY at 18:57
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker Haha! There goes your Death Star! Skywalker in the attacking zone... a nice deke to pass by the TIE fighters! Skywwalker shoots ... and BAM! SCORES! Yippee!

June 23, 0 BBY at 22:07 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Well I'll just build a nicer one with a bathroom in every room and cool doors that go FOUIZ everywhere.
June 23, 0 BBY at 22:11
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Yeah, we'll see about that. What was the idea of letting a large trench on this one? Oh and the hole! Why didn't you just block the stupid hole?
June 23, 0 BBY at 22:14
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
WE WERE NOT DONE YET
June 23, 0 BBY at 22:19
Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
By the way, you looked really silly in your spinning cockpit
June 23, 0 BBY at 22:24
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Yeah I know... it was like the Super Loop ride. Threw up in my helmet. What a fucking mess.
June 23, 0 BBY at 22:29
Trooper BB-002

Trooper BB-002 Darth! GH-604 said I had a large nose and that my helmet was too small because of my big ears!

June 23, 0 BBY at 18:00 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
There, there. Your ears are really nice and your nose is juste a little swollen, that's all.
June 23, 0 BBY at 18:17
Trooper BB-002
Trooper BB-002
You think so?
June 23, 0 BBY at 18:22
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
GH-604 is just jealous! You tell him to come and see me after dinner. I'm a little busy right now.
June 23, 0 BBY at 18:24
Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker Nice fight earlier but I don't understand... what the fuck happened to Obi-Wan?

June 23, 0 BBY at 15:24 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
I was winning but then he vanished when he realized I would beat the living shit out of him.
June 23, 0 BBY at 15:32
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan Kenobi
It was magic, Luke. The Force. As I told Darth, by letting him beat me, I... I become more powerful. More than... er... more than he can imagine. This... this is THE FORCE. I am more... powerful. There. That's it.
June 23, 0 BBY at 15:44
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
What a crapload of bullshit.
Stinkin' coward.
June 23, 0 BBY at 15:47
Grand Moff Tarkin

Grand Moff Tarkin There is a horrible stench in the 4th floor bathroom. Smells like taco diarrhea. Who's gonna do something about this?

May 18, 0 BBY at 16:11 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Ooooh. Sorry. That's the dark side of the Force LOL. I'm sending someone ASAP.
May 18, 0 BBY at 16:21
Princess Leia

Princess Leia You do know that Alderaan was full of women and children? They're all dead because of you!

April 18, 0 BBY at 18:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
I swear I didn't know he would really pull the trigger
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:26
Princess Leia
Princess Leia
You gave him the order! You said "Commence primary ignition"
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:31
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Yes but if you would have seen my face when the planet blew up! It was full of astonishment, dread and awe... Your hair looks really great by the way.
April 18l, 0 BBY at 18:34
Princess Leia
Princess Leia
Aaah you think so? It doesn't make my head look big?
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:35
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
No, no, it looks great on you. You remind me of an old love. You look just like her, but way stupider.
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:38
Princess Leia
Princess Leia
You have no respect
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:39
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
You have no boyfriend.
April 18, 0 BBY at 18:41
Darth Vader

Darth Vader Commence... er... the thing... the heating device or something... you know for the cannon. So that it heats up. We're blowing Alderaan up.

April 18, 0 BBY at 15:21 · ·
Trooper GH-33
Trooper GH-33
Could you be a little bit more precise? Primary ignition maybe? Because there's a shitload of buttons down here.
April 18, 0 BBY at 15:27
Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader
Oh. Yes. Commence primary ignition. Yes.
April 18, 0 BBY at 15:29
Grand Moff Tarkin

Grand Moff Tarkin Dark? Could you help me transfer some songs to my mp3 player? I tried but it doesn't work. I'd really like to listen to my Pat Benatar album.

March 22, 0 BBY at 13:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader It's pretty easy if you really give it a try, Moff. By the way, it's DARTH
March 22, 0 BBY at 13:26
Grand Moff Tarkin
Grand Moff Tarkin
Uh? No no I'm pretty sure it's PAT Benatar. I don't know any Darth Benatar. Wait I'll get the CD
March 22, 0 BBY at 13:29
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
No MY name is Darth
March 22, 0 BBY at 13:33
Grand Moff Tarkin
Grand Moff Tarkin
Haha I told you, it has PAT Benatar written on the cover. You're becoming senile, Dark
March 22, 0 BBY at 13:43
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
OK forget it.
March 22, 0 BBY at 14:01
Recent activity
Darth Vader blocked PP-999. · ·
Trooper PP-999

Trooper PP-999 Darth? I just talked to JJ-101...

March 20, 0 BBY at 18:28 · ·
Trooper JJ-101

Trooper JJ-101 How come GH-333 doesn't have to go to Tatooine? If so, can I go to Malaviv instead? I haven't had any day off for 6 years. You owe me at least 3 weeks.

March 20, 0 BBY at 14:01 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
If you get rid of GH-333 for me, I know a nice little planet on which you could have a vacation. And it's not too far away
March 20, 0 BBY at 14:04
Trooper JJ-101
Trooper JJ-101
No problem regarding GH-333! Which planet is it?
March 20, 0 BBY at 14:07
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
It's called Alderaan. You can look it up on Google Galaxy. But you better leave now cause it might be hard to find later LOL
March 20, 0 BBY at 14:11
Trooper JJ-101
Trooper JJ-101
Thanks Darth! Can't wait to tell my wife and kids! ;)
March 20, 0 BBY at 14:21
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Hem yeah...ok as you wish.
March 20, 0 BBY at 14:27
Trooper GH-33

Trooper GH-33 Darth, about the Tatooine mission. Is is possible to switch? BD-101 would really like to go. He has never traveled and the desert is way too hot for me. I quite easily suffer from dehydration, you know...

March 19, 0 BBY at 18:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Aren't you all the same?
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:23
Trooper GH-33
Trooper GH-33
Er, yes but I'm just a little bit different. They rushed me through on a Friday at 4h15 PM and my suit is not as well-ventilated as BD-101's.
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:29
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
I don't know. Not sure I like it... There's usually forms to fill for this, and the mission is kinda urgent.
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:32
Trooper GH-33
Trooper GH-33
Say yessssss!
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:39
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Well ok then. We'll fill the forms later. But keep your mouth shut about this.
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:41
Trooper GH-33
Trooper GH-33
Thanks Darth! It's a promise!
March 19, 0 BBY at 18:41
Captain Boutette

Captain Boutette Darth! I just blew up 18 rebel ships today! And David had only 6!

March 18, 0 BBY at 11:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Hey! How are you captain! Congrats, nice work!
March 18, 0 BBY at 12:27
Captain Boutette
Captain Boutette
Oh and I let a small pod escape from Princess Leia's ship.
March 18, 0 BBY at 12:31
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
AH GAWD I SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT WAS YOU. ARE YOU RETARDED?
March 18, 0 BBY at 12:33
Captain Boutette
Captain Boutette
No, no! Hahaha! There was no signs of life inside! We clearly saw it on our little atomic radar. Nothing moved, so no blueprints or plans or... oooh... yeah. I fucked up.
March 18, 0 BBY at 12:36
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Remind me to Force choke you on our next happy hour
March 18, 0 BBY at 12:41
Grand Moff Tarkin

Grand Moff Tarkin How the hell does that thing work? Dark? Can you see me Dark? I don't know which button I'm supposed to press.

February 18, 0 BBY at 18:16 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
No I can't see you, it's Facebook Moff!
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:21
Grand Moff Tarkin
Grand Moff Tarkin
This is all so complicated. I really liked the phone better. How do you do that cut and paste thing again?
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:26
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Ctrl C – Ctrl V
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:31
Grand Moff Tarkin
Grand Moff Tarkin
Ok check this, these are some decoration ideas for my room on the Death Star: ctrl c – ctrl v
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:33
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Don't type it Moff! You must do the key combination on your keyboard
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:36
Grand Moff Tarkin
Grand Moff Tarkin
STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HATE PCS
February 18, 0 BBY at 18:44
Recent activity
Darth is now single · ·
The Emperor

The Emperor Uh I don't know hot to tell you but your wife is kinda dead.

September 30, 19 BBY at 18:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Uuuh what? She was in top shape. Died from what?
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:24
The Emperor
The Emperor
Coroner says "Broken heart"
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:26
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Jesus Christ. Broken heart. What a fucking joke. It's not Alice in Wonderland for chrissake.
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:28
The Emperor
The Emperor
well, the report clearly states "Broken heart"
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:29
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:31
The Emperor
The Emperor
Hahahahahahaha you're so funny
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:32
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
LOL I know. What a shitty day though.
September 30, 19 BBY at 18:39
Recent activity
Darth Vader changed his profile picture · ·
Anakin joined the Dark Side of the Force network · ·
Darth Vader

Darth Vader This is the end for you, my master.

September 18, 19 BBY at 10:21 · ·
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan Kenobi
LMFAO BWNED!!! Can't wait to see you on that fencing paralympics team you loser. NOOB!
September 18, 19 BBY at 11:12
Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader
I HATE YOU!
September 18, 19 BBY at 11:12
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Well boohoohoo. What's that smell? Did I leave something on the stove? Oh no, it's Anakin, er, "Darth" burning. Well it's true what they say, you look kinda hot man. LOL
September 18, 19 BBY at 11:14
Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi OK... Sooooo... what's with all the cool new names guys?

September 6, 19 BBY at 18:21 · ·
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth fucking Vader, man! You should do the same... your name sounds like Abigail Crabtree. Not good.
September 6, 19 BBY at 21:42
Recent activity
Senator Palpatine changed his display name to The Emperor. · ·
Anakin changed his display name to Darth Vader. · ·
It's complicated between Anakin and Padme Amidala. · ·
Anakin and Senator Palpatine are now friends. · ·
Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson Not cool man. Not cool at all.

September 5, 19 BBY at 09:55 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Yeah I know, I'm not exactly proud but they do make great artificial limbs nowadays. Then again, I couldn't know Palpatine would throw you out the window.
September 5, 19 BBY at 11:52
Samuel L. Jackson
Samuel L. Jackson
Everything's great. Missing an arm, electrocuted and smashed down the building. And all these motherfuckin' snakes on the motherfuckin' plane.
September 5, 19 BBY at 12:02
Anakin Skywalker
September 5, 19 BBY at 12:04
Samuel L. Jackson
Samuel L. Jackson
Wah, wrong movie. So what's up, dawg?
September 5, 19 BBY at 12:07
Recent activity
Anakin is now married to Padme Amidala. · ·
Count Dooku

Count Dooku I think you're gonna need this LOLZ

Count Dooku sent you a prosthetic arm.
March 18, 22 BBY at 01:42 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
You're a funny guy. Old fuck.
March 18, 22 BBY at 01:44
Senator Palpatine
Senator Palpatine
Oh Anakin is angry. Gooood. Real gooooood.
March 18, 22 BBY at 21:48
Recent activity
Anakin is now in a relationship with Padme Amidala. · ·
Leonard Tusken

Leonard Tusken Er, just wanted to inform you that a small accident happened to your mother. As we were savagely beating her, she lost consciousness and I am under the impression that she will soon pass away. I'm a big fan of yours, by the way. I watched all your races as a kid. Cheers!

February 12, 22 BBY at 09:08 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
You dirty bastards. I am going to kill you all. Yourself, your wife, your kids. Your brother, sister, father, mother, all your friends. Wham Bam.
February 12, 22 BBY at 09:12
Leonard Tusken
Leonard Tusken
Oh that's just a brillant idea. This will sort out everything. PS: I am being sarcastic. It's sometimes hard in writing, but what I really meant is that it will NOT sort out anything. I can't find the emoticon.
February 12, 22 BBY at 09:44
C3P0

C-3PO Sir? There's a burning smell when I talk for more than 20 minutes. I think my circuits might not be functioning correctly.

January 18, 22 BBY at 21:48 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
You have a little trap door on your belly. Open it and unplug the red wire and the green wire. Oh and press the On/Off button before closing it down
January 18, 22 BBY at 21:49
C-3PO
C-3PO
There, sir, it is done. What now?
January 18, 22 BBY at 21:52
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Wait for two minutes
January 18, 22 BBY at 21:53
C-3PO
C-3PO
Sir? It's weird, I am feeling weak. I feel that I am going to
January 18, 22 BBY at 21:53
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
There theeere. Its gonna be OK.
January 18, 22 BBY at 21:54
Recent activity
Anakin poked Padme Amidala · ·
Anakin poked Padme Amidala · ·
Anakin poked Padme Amidala · ·
Qui-Gon Jinn has left Facebook · ·
Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi Have you heard the news? Qui-Gon just got torn apart by Darth Maul. No head, no legs, no arms left. BAM!

July 18, 32 BBY at 18:21 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Seriously?
July 18, 32 BBY at 18:33
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Naaah, just kidding. He just got knocked out. But then Maul put a lightsaber through him. He's exposed at the Wahlberg Funeral Home until Saturday.
July 18, 32 BBY at 18:44
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
That's awful. Soooo... can I have his lightsaber and iPod Touch?
July 18, 32 BBY at 21:45
Recent activity
Anakin blocked Jar-Jar Binks · ·
Jar-Jar Binks

Jar-Jar Binks Heeeeey! Houlala! Bloblblblb!

June 15, 32 BBY at 11:16 · ·
Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Binks
Hola! I'm heeere! Heeheeheeheehee!
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:18
Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Binks
Yiippeee! Me doing crazy stuff with my hands!
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:22
Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Binks
Look! Look at my eyes, they funny! Me craaaaazy!
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:23
Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Binks
Yabadabadoo! Look at me!
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:26
Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Binks
Heehee! Did you see me! Prout! Prout!
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:28
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Ok that's it .
June 15, 32 BBY at 11:29
Conseil Jedi

Jedi Council We acknowledge receipt of your application. Unfortunately, we are sorry to inform you that your application was not selected. Please understand that this decision is final and not subject to review. We wish you the best of luck in future endeavors. Thank you for your interest. Do not call us.

March 14, 32 BBY at 02:26 · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Whatever.
March 14, 32 BBY at 19:08
Recent activity
Jar-Jar Binks poked Anakin · ·
Anakin and Qui-Gon Jinn are now friends · ·
Qui-Gon Jinn

Qui-Gon Jinn You are quite interesting Anakin. I'd love to show you some stuff.

February 12, 32 BBY at 07:42 · ·
Shmi Skywalker
Shmi Skywalker Hey who are you?? You do realize my son is only 9?
February 12, 32 BBY at 09:11
Qui-Gon Jinn
Qui-Gon Jinn
It's not what you think. I want to show him... hum... the Force. It's like magic stuff.
February 12 at 09:59
Shmi Skywalker
Shmi Skywalker You've been reported to Facebook.
February 12, 32 BBY at 10:11
Shmi Skywalker

Shmi Skywalker Jeezus-Christ Anakin! Pick up your room and do your homeworks. Oh and you're just 9, leave the girls alone

January 6, 32 BBY at 15:07 via Twitter · ·
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker Get the fuck out of my Facebook mom
January 6, 32 BBY at 17:12
Padme Amidala
I'm not even interested anyway, Mrs Skywalker
January 6, 32 BBY at 17:24
Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker
Pffft I don't even like you, I like girls with big titties
January 6, 32 BBY at 17:42
Padme Amidala
Padme Amidala
You little jerk
January 6, 32 BBY at 17:48
Recent activity
Anakin likes Padme Amidala.
Anakin joined the Naboo network. · ·
Anakin Skywalker joined Facebook. · ·